Networking
Oxfordshire, March 2026
I’ve recently had several conversations with people that I mentor about networking. They all had a similar theme: I know that I have to do it, I don’t like talking to strangers, it feels weird and unnatural.
Guess what?… We all feel like that to a certain extent. It’s how you decide to deal with those feelings that make a difference.
The value of conferences shouldn’t be just the presentations – though don’t tell the presenters that – but the connections that you make. And the important word is connection.
So the simple rules that I always try to follow, from the trivial to the (possibly) profound…
- Find something to agree on: If you are British, that is probably going to be something as trivial as the weather but it could be the quality of the coffee or the insight from the last presentation. Once you’ve found some common ground you’ve created a space for a conversation
- It’s a conversation not an interview: You really don’t want to come across as if you’re only trying to work out how the other person can be useful to you. Ask them about how they’re finding the conference, ask them about their company, they’ll open up if they want to
- And what about you?: I took a brilliant piece of advice from the book “Curious” by the actor Rebecca Front. She said that the most powerful words in a conversation are when the other person finishes their answer to your question with “…and what about you?”. True dialogue requires a certain generosity, the other person needs to be invited to contribute, to be drawn into the dance. Try it
- You can walk away: And if they just want to talk at you, or grill you on who you know and how you might be useful, you can just walk away. Obviously you don’t need to be a dick about it, but there is a room full of people who are, quite frankly, more deserving of your limited time!
- The objective is a human connection: Full stop. If you go into every conversation with the objective of getting a meeting, or a coffee, or an introduction, or hoovering up LinkedIn connections, guess how you’ll come across. Have a chat. Connect with another human being. If you enjoyed it, offer to stay in touch and let them scan your LinkedIn QR code. That’s it.
My friend Elaine Roberts summed this all up recently with a brilliant phrase: connect not collect. “Leaders who navigate complexity well aren't the best networked. They're the most genuinely curious… They show up with warmth, not an agenda”
And this made me
laugh 'cos it's true
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